"God allowed this sickness to slow me down and draw me closer to Him."
How it sounds in your head: You were too busy, too focused on your own plans. God had to let this happen to get your attention. Now that you're sick, you're finally praying more, reading the Bible more. See? It's working. If you were healed, you'd just go back to ignoring Him.
"I taught Ephraim to walk, taking them by their arms; but they did not know that I healed them. I drew them with gentle cords, with bands of love, and I was to them as those who take the yoke from their neck. I stooped and fed them."
-- Hosea 11:3-4Abusive theology that portrays God as inflicting pain to get attention, making Him no different than a manipulative relationship partner who harms to control.
You were grinding hard before the diagnosis—school, work, gym, friends. Now you're in bed with nothing but time to pray. It does feel like the only way God could slow you down was through sickness. Your quiet times have increased.
She was sick with a fever, in bed. Jesus didn't say 'rest and seek Me while you're down'—He touched her hand, the fever LEFT IMMEDIATELY, and she got up and SERVED them. Healing led to service, not prolonged seeking.
I REFUSE the lie that God inflicted sickness to slow me down. IT IS WRITTEN that He draws with GENTLE cords and bands of LOVE, not disease. God healed them, taking the yoke from their neck—sickness is a YOKE, not a gift. IT IS WRITTEN in Romans 2:4 that the GOODNESS of God leads to repentance, not sickness. Jesus healed people so they could FOLLOW Him, not stay bedridden seeking Him. I am Abraham's seed under the BARAK blessing. My Father draws me with KINDNESS, not affliction. I receive healing NOW and follow Him in strength.
Your Father didn't give the prodigal food poisoning to make him come home—He let him go, waited eagerly, and RAN when he saw him far off. Your Father doesn't wound you to get attention; He woos you with relentless goodness even when you're distant.