"My personality was always too intense, and now it's even more exhausting."
How it sounds in your head: You've always been too much—too loud, too opinionated, too direct. Now with age you've lost the filter you barely had. People have tolerated you for decades and now they're done. Your intensity has become unbearable to everyone around you.
"I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well."
-- Psalm 139:14Lifelong lie that personality traits are flaws rather than design, intensified by aging reducing social filters
Feedback he's received his whole life ('tone it down,' 'not so loud,' 'too much') seems confirmed now that age has reduced his ability to moderate. His directness has increased with age.
John was INTENSE—lived in the wilderness, wore camel hair, ate locusts, called religious leaders a 'brood of vipers' publicly. Too loud, too direct, too much by any standard. Jesus called him the GREATEST born of women. His intensity was his calling, not his flaw.
I REFUSE the lie that my intensity makes me too much. IT IS WRITTEN that I am fearfully and wonderfully made—my personality is by DESIGN, not accident. My directness, my volume, my strong opinions—all part of how God created me. IT IS WRITTEN that I am blessed in the city and the field—my personality is blessed EVERYWHERE. The BARAK blessing doesn't require me to tone down or shrink back. I am not exhausting. I am AUTHENTIC. I am not too intense. I am EXACTLY as God made me—marvelous and purposeful. Age has refined me, not ruined me.
The Father isn't wishing you were quieter or softer—He made you EXACTLY this way. He's running toward you saying 'I love your fire—I put it there. You've spent 85 years being told to tone down what I turned UP on purpose. You're not too much for Me.'