"My emotions are out of control. I need to get myself together before God can use me."
How it sounds in your head: I'm crying again in the bathroom at work. I snapped at my kids over nothing. I can't seem to hold it together like other women. How can God use someone who's this much of an emotional wreck?
"You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book."
-- Psalm 56:8Religion + world: Demanding emotional perfection before divine partnership.
You've been told 'emotions are unreliable' from pulpits, watched composed women lead while you're falling apart, felt disqualified by your own heart. The 40s bring hormonal chaos the world dismisses as weakness.
She wept so bitterly in the temple that the PRIEST thought she was drunk and rebuked her. She was 'in bitterness of soul' praying and weeping. God didn't wait for her to compose herself - He OPENED HER WOMB that day and she birthed SAMUEL, the prophet who anointed kings. Messy prayer got INSTANT RESPONSE.
I REFUSE the lie that my emotions disqualify me from God's purposes. IT IS WRITTEN that He keeps every tear in a bottle - He is not repelled by my humanity but DRAWN to it. I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus, FULLY QUALIFIED by His blood, not my emotional management. The BARAK blessing covers me in my strength AND my sorrows - blessed coming in weeping, blessed going out rejoicing. IT IS WRITTEN that those who sow in TEARS reap in JOY, and my brokenness is the SOIL of my harvest. I am not too emotional. I am EXACTLY what broken people need to find hope.
The Father is NOT waiting for you to stop crying - He's catching every tear in a bottle like LIQUID GOLD. He's running toward you in your bathroom breakdown with the same assignment He gave you on your best day, because your CALLING was never based on your composure.