"My eating disorder glorifies God by showing His strength in my weakness."
How it sounds in your head: People see you struggle with bulimia and say you're so strong to keep going. Your testimony of battling this disorder might help someone else. Maybe God is using your brokenness to reach broken people.
"Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed."
-- John 8:36Religion romanticizes suffering as witness tool, making victims feel guilty for wanting freedom from torment.
Your small group leader said your vulnerability about purging 'really ministered' to her. It feels selfish to want complete freedom when your story is 'helping' others in their pain.
Boy had violent seizures since childhood, foam at mouth, grinding teeth - demon threw him in fire and water to destroy him. Jesus didn't say 'this glorifies God' - He REBUKED the unclean spirit and boy was FREE instantly.
I REFUSE the lie that my eating disorder glorifies God. IT IS WRITTEN: John 8:36 - the Son makes me FREE INDEED, not partially free with inspiring struggle. This bulimia is enemy's work to kill me, and Jesus came to DESTROY devil's works (1 John 3:8). IT IS WRITTEN: Isaiah 61:1 - Jesus was anointed to proclaim LIBERTY to captives, and I am NO LONGER captive to this torment. I am blessed with Abraham's barak through Christ (Galatians 3:14) - even when Abraham lied twice, blessing protected him. How much more does Jesus' blood protect me? My body is temple of Holy Spirit, and this disorder has NO authority in Father's house. I am FREE NOW - mind renewed, body healed, appetite restored to God's original design. Complete freedom is my testimony, not managed bondage.
Father is running toward you with the ring of authority to COMMAND this spirit to leave, not asking you to coexist with it for witness purposes. Jesus took all infirmity so you could be completely free to enjoy the feast He's prepared.