"I'm too high-maintenance. Low-maintenance women are more loved and chosen."
How it sounds in your head: I need quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service... I'm the whole love languages checklist. I watch women who are 'chill' get pursued while I'm told I'm 'a lot.' Maybe if I needed less, I'd be wanted more.
"I belong to my beloved, and his desire is for me."
-- Song of Solomon 7:10World + trauma: Equating need with burden and depth with difficulty.
You've been compared to the 'easy' girlfriend, the 'chill' wife, the women who don't ask for much. You've seen men pursue simple and ghost complex. Your 40s have shown you that your needs haven't decreased - they've clarified - and it feels like a liability.
She kept coming to the unjust judge day after day, demanding justice - so persistent she wore him OUT. Jesus used her as the MODEL of faith, saying God WILL bring justice for His chosen ones who cry out day and night. Her 'high-maintenance' persistence was PRAISED, not rebuked. She got INSTANT justice.
I REFUSE the lie that my needs make me unlovable. IT IS WRITTEN that I belong to my beloved and HIS DESIRE IS FOR ME - not a watered-down version, but THIS version, needs intact. I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus, FULLY KNOWN and FULLY LOVED, not in spite of my complexity but BECAUSE of it. The BARAK blessing covers my NEEDS - provision coming in, favor going out, SUPPLIED in every area. IT IS WRITTEN that my God will supply ALL my needs according to His riches in glory - and 'all' includes emotional, relational, and spiritual. I am the persistent widow - my needs are my FAITH in action.
The Father is NOT wishing you were easier - He's CELEBRATING that you know what you need and ask for it. He's running toward you with the EXACT people who have the capacity to love you at your depth, not the shallow ones who wanted you simple.