"If God wanted to heal me He would have prevented the diagnosis"
How it sounds in your head: Why would He heal what He allowed in the first place? If He's sovereign and good, this diagnosis shouldn't have happened. Maybe this is His will and fighting it is fighting Him.
"The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly."
-- John 10:10Enemy makes God the author of disease, turning the Healer into the inflicter
His logical mind struggles with sovereignty—if God allows diagnosis, maybe God wants diagnosis. Fighting for healing while believing God orchestrated the disease creates paralyzing confusion.
Disciples asked whose sin caused his blindness—was it God's judgment? Jesus said NEITHER—'this happened so that the works of God should be revealed in him.' Then Jesus immediately healed him, proving God's will is WHOLENESS, and sickness exists to showcase healing power.
I REFUSE the lie that God authors disease to teach me. IT IS WRITTEN that the thief comes to kill and destroy but Jesus comes to give ABUNDANT LIFE—my diagnosis has a source and it's not my Father. God doesn't heal what He wants me to keep. IT IS WRITTEN that Jesus healed ALL who were oppressed by the devil—oppression is the enemy's work, healing is God's response. My sickness exists only to reveal God's healing power, not His hidden will for suffering. The BARAK protected Isaac even when he LIED—it protects me not because I'm perfect but because of covenant.
Your Father is heartbroken that you've confused His allowance with His desire. He allows free will and a fallen world, but He's not sitting back approving your pain—He's actively moving toward your healing like He moved toward every sick person in the Gospels, because His will is LIFE.