"I should honor my parents no matter what they did, so I can't acknowledge the abuse."
How it sounds in your head: The Bible says honor your father and mother. If I admit what they did, I'm dishonoring them and breaking a commandment. I've buried it for decades. At 90, maybe I should just let it stay buried and take it to the grave. Truth-telling feels like sin.
"And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free."
-- John 8:32Religion weaponizing Exodus 20:12 to protect abusers and silence victims, creating a false choice between truth and obedience.
You've heard this commandment weaponized your entire life—'they did their best,' 'it was a different time,' 'don't speak ill of your parents.' Agreeing with reality felt like rebellion against God Himself.
Sexually exploited by her father-in-law Judah who then condemned her to death for prostitution. She publicly exposed HIS sin to save her life, bringing receipts (his seal and cord). Judah immediately admitted 'She is MORE RIGHTEOUS than I'—truth-telling about a patriarch's sin was called RIGHTEOUSNESS.
I REFUSE the lie that truth-telling about abuse dishonors God or breaks His commandment. IT IS WRITTEN that the truth sets me FREE, and God IS truth. Jesus exposed religious abuse publicly. Tamar spoke truth about Judah's sin and was called righteous. I honor my parents by refusing to call evil good. IT IS WRITTEN there is no condemnation for those in Christ. My freedom matters to God more than protecting my parents' reputation. The BARAK blessing flows to those who walk in truth, not denial. I receive freedom to speak truth RIGHT NOW and call abuse what it was.
The Father doesn't ask you to pretend the pig pen smelled like roses—He meets you IN the reality of where you've been and runs toward you there. Your honesty about the abuse is the beginning of the embrace, not a barrier to it.