"God allows my insomnia to keep me humble and dependent on Him."
How it sounds in your head: Maybe this is your thorn in the flesh, like Paul's. God uses suffering to shape character, and insomnia keeps you prayerful. If He healed you, you'd become self-sufficient and prideful. This keeps you broken and usable.
"Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers."
-- 3 John 1:2Religious theology: God as author of suffering to manufacture humility, sickness as spiritual tool.
Pastors have taught that God uses hardship to refine you. Paul's thorn wasn't removed, and you've prayed without seeing change. Maybe acceptance is maturity, and asking for healing is immaturity.
She was bent over for 18 YEARS, unable to stand straight. Religious leaders said healing on Sabbath was wrong. Jesus said, 'Satan has BOUND her 18 years—ought she not be LOOSED?' He called her sickness BONDAGE from Satan, not character development from God, and healed her IMMEDIATELY.
I REFUSE the lie that God authors my insomnia for my good. IT IS WRITTEN: Jesus went about doing GOOD and HEALING all who were oppressed by the devil (Acts 10:38)—sickness is OPPRESSION, not sanctification. God's will is health matching my soul's prosperity. IT IS WRITTEN: By His stripes I WAS healed—past tense, finished work. My humility comes from recognizing I'm DEPENDENT on Jesus' blood, not from enduring insomnia. The BARAK blessing includes health and rest, and I RECEIVE that tonight. If Jesus healed the woman bent 18 years, He heals my sleeplessness NOW. I am loosed, not for pride but for FREEDOM.
Your Father isn't the sadist withholding sleep to keep you desperate—He's the Father who RAN to the prodigal who was SELF-SUFFICIENT and prideful. He didn't break the son's legs to keep him from leaving again; He threw a PARTY. Healing doesn't make you forget God; it makes you WORSHIP Him louder.