"The church only wants me when I'm useful - to serve in nursery, bring friends, post about events."
How it sounds in your head: They texted me three times about volunteering for VBS but no one checked on me when I posted that depressing story at 2am. I'm a project, a number, free labor. They love what I can do for them, not who I am.
"But now after you have known God, or rather are known by God, how is it that you turn again to the weak and beggish elements, to which you desire again to be in bondage?"
-- Galatians 4:9Source: Religion spirit that reduces people to function instead of celebrating them as beloved children, mixed with trauma from transactional relationships.
The pattern is undeniable - silence when she's struggling but sudden interest when they need volunteers. The messages prove it: event invites but no 'how are you really?' follow-ups.
While Martha stressed about serving and doing, Mary just sat at Jesus' feet doing 'nothing productive.' When Martha complained that Mary wasn't helping, Jesus said Mary chose the ONE THING NEEDED - not service, but presence. Intimacy over activity, every time.
I REFUSE the lie that my value is in my usefulness. IT IS WRITTEN that I am KNOWN by God - not for what I do but for whose I am. I am not a project or free labor; I am a DAUGHTER at the Father's table. The BARAK blessing over my life isn't unlocked by serving in nursery or posting about events - it flows from covenant, from being grafted into Christ. IT IS WRITTEN that while I was still a sinner, Christ died for me - before I was useful, He called me beloved. I am a branch abiding in the Vine, and fruit comes from CONNECTION not production. I rest in my identity, not my activity.
The Father is running toward you saying, 'I don't love you for what you can do for Me - I love you because you're MINE. Stop performing and just come sit. I'm not waiting for you to serve - I'm waiting to serve you the feast I've prepared.' The robe, ring, and sandals aren't earned by usefulness - they're GIFTS because you're HOME.