"My passion and energy drain people. I should tone it down to be acceptable."
How it sounds in your head: I watch people's faces when I get excited, looking for the moment they check out. I've learned to dim my light, lower my volume, contain my enthusiasm. Because full-intensity me feels like too much for anyone to sustain.
"Then I said, 'I will not make mention of Him, nor speak anymore in His name.' But His word was in my heart like a burning fire shut up in my bones; I was weary of holding it back, and I could not."
-- Jeremiah 20:9Shame from people who were threatened by your fire and wanted you controllable instead of ablaze.
People have literally said 'you're a lot' or 'calm down.' You've been the one 'too excited' about things others found ordinary. Energy that felt like a gift got treated like a problem.
Mary got world-changing news and didn't 'process' or 'take time'—she RAN with haste to Elizabeth, bursting with joy. Her uncontained passion caused the baby in Elizabeth's womb to leap, and Elizabeth blessed her abundance immediately, not her restraint.
I REFUSE the lie that my passion drains people. IT IS WRITTEN that God's word is like fire in my bones, and I will not apologize for the flame He lit. Mary didn't tone down her joy—she ran with it, and babies leaped in response. IT IS WRITTEN that God has not given me a spirit of timidity but of power, love, and a sound mind. My energy is not excessive; it is evidence of the Life within me. I am blessed coming in and going out—my presence doesn't deplete, it ignites. The blessing of Abraham rests on me; I cannot be cursed by others' comfort with mediocrity.
Your Father isn't asking you to dim—He's fanning your flame. While you're shrinking to fit small rooms, He's preparing stadiums for your fire because what He ignites, He doesn't contain.