"My abortion means God won't let me have children now that I actually want them"
How it sounds in your head: You ended a pregnancy you couldn't handle, and now when you desperately want a baby, you can't conceive. It feels like obvious punishment—you rejected the child God gave you, so now He's rejecting your desire for children. The irony feels cruel and deserved.
"I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake; and I will not remember your sins."
-- Isaiah 43:25Enemy assignment to weaponize past abortion into present infertility curse
The contrast is devastating—you terminated a pregnancy then, you can't achieve pregnancy now. The timing seems too connected to be coincidence, like God is teaching you a lesson by withholding what you once rejected.
Bathsheba's first pregnancy came from adultery with David while her husband was murdered on David's orders—arguably the most scandalous conception in Scripture. That child died, yet God loved her next son Solomon so much He gave him a second name: Jedidiah, meaning 'beloved of the Lord.'
I REFUSE the lie that my abortion disqualified my womb from future blessing. IT IS WRITTEN that God blots out my transgressions and will NOT REMEMBER my sins. The abortion is not held against me—it was nailed to the cross with every other sin. IT IS WRITTEN: There is NO condemnation for those in Christ Jesus. Bathsheba conceived in adultery, lost that child, then gave birth to Solomon who God loved so much He renamed him 'Beloved of the Lord.' My past doesn't determine my future. My womb is blessed with the blessing of Abraham, purchased by Jesus's blood, and my reproductive future is under grace, not punishment.
The Father isn't keeping score of terminated pregnancies. He's the God of Bathsheba and Rahab, who puts women with complicated pasts in Jesus's family tree—not to shame them but to prove grace covers everything.