"I've read too much church history; I can't unsee the corruption, abuse, and manipulation done in God's name."
How it sounds in your head: The Crusades. The Inquisition. Residential schools. Clergy abuse. Colonization using Scripture as weapon. Slavery justified by Bible verses. How can I believe in a God whose followers did such evil in His name?
"Thus saith the Lord GOD; Behold, I am against the shepherds; and I will require my flock at their hand, and cause them to cease from feeding the flock; neither shall the shepherds feed themselves any more; for I will deliver my flock from their mouth."
-- Ezekiel 34:10Enemy blaming God for religious sins, confusing institution with deity. Trauma from church history weaponized as evidence against divine character.
She's done the reading—not just church propaganda but actual historical accounts. The gap between Jesus and institutional Christianity throughout history is devastating.
Hagar was abused by God's chosen people—used as surrogate, mistreated by Sarah, sent to the wilderness to die. God found her there, spoke tenderly to her, saw her when nobody else did, and she called Him 'the God who sees me.' Victim met God personally despite abuse by religious people.
I REFUSE the lie that church corruption proves God's character. IT IS WRITTEN that He is AGAINST abusive shepherds—their evil opposes Him, doesn't represent Him. The sins done in His name grieve Him more than they grieve me. IT IS WRITTEN in Matthew 7:21-23 that Jesus Himself says 'I never knew you' to those who did evil in His name—He disowns them. I am Abraham's seed, and the BARAK covered Abraham despite his lying, his family dysfunction, his failures. I AM seen by the God who sees the abused, who stands AGAINST corrupt leaders, who is nothing like the institution built in His name.
The Father is RUNNING toward you weeping over what was done in His name, furious at those who used His words to wound instead of heal. He's not asking you to defend the indefensible—He's asking you to let Him show you who He actually is, separate from every religious monster who wore His name like stolen clothes.