"I'm losing my mind and God is punishing me for past failures"
How it sounds in your head: My memory is gone, my thoughts are confused. This must be God settling accounts for everything I did wrong. I'm being judged before I even die. Dementia is my reaping what I sowed.
"Having wiped out the handwriting of requirements that was against us, which was contrary to us. And He has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross."
-- Colossians 2:14Karma theology mixed with condemnation from unresolved guilt over a lifetime of perceived failures.
Cognitive decline feels like losing himself, and he's been taught 'you reap what you sow' as divine punishment. The timing—at life's end—seems like cosmic judgment day.
King Asa was severely diseased in his feet in his old age, yet Scripture records him as one who 'did what was right in the eyes of the Lord.' Physical/mental decline didn't indicate divine displeasure—he remained in covenant.
I REFUSE the lie that my cognitive decline is divine punishment. IT IS WRITTEN that Jesus nailed EVERY charge to the cross—there is no outstanding debt being collected through my suffering. My brain is affected by a fallen world, not divine vengeance. I am under the BARAK blessing of Abraham by covenant, not behavior. IT IS WRITTEN: the blessing protected Abraham when he LIED, Jacob when he DECEIVED, and it protects me when my mind fails. I am the righteousness of God in Christ. My identity is secure even when my memory isn't.
Your Father isn't settling scores—He's holding you. The blood of Jesus didn't cover 99% of your past—it covered 100%, including things you can't even remember now, and that's the point.