"I was too hard on my kids and now they resent me."
How it sounds in your head: You enforced discipline, had high standards, didn't tolerate disrespect. But now you hear the therapy conversations, see the distance, feel the tension at family gatherings. You were raised in a different era, but they call it 'harsh' and 'controlling.' Maybe you were just like your own father, and you swore you wouldn't be.
"Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it."
-- Hebrews 12:11Cultural shift weaponized by enemy to reframe biblical discipline as abuse, making strong fathers question godly authority they exercised.
There actually is tension or distance with your kids, and they may have expressed feeling you were too strict. Modern parenting culture validates their feelings and positions your generation's approach as psychologically harmful.
God disciplines His own children, and Hebrews says if we're without discipline, we're illegitimate—not sons. The Father's discipline is proof of love, not lack of it, and produces holiness in those who are trained by it. Your discipline mirrored the Father's heart.
I REFUSE the lie that my discipline damaged my children. IT IS WRITTEN that discipline yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness AFTERWARD—their current feelings are not the final verdict. I provided boundaries because I loved them, mirroring how the Father loves me. The BARAK blessing doesn't just cover my mistakes; it sanctifies my intentions and turns even imperfect parenting into their inheritance. IT IS WRITTEN that all things work together for good—the very discipline they resent now is becoming wisdom they'll pass to my grandchildren. Reconciliation is coming. The 'afterward' is NOW.
Your Father is whispering to your kids' hearts right now, helping them see your discipline through the lens of love rather than control—and He's orchestrating conversations where they'll thank you for caring enough to set boundaries. The very thing they resented is becoming the foundation they're grateful for, and you'll hear the words 'You were right, Dad' before your time is up.