"I should have been a boy/girl. My gender was a disappointment from day one."
How it sounds in your head: They wanted a son to carry on the name. They already had girls and needed a boy. I heard the disappointment in the delivery room, saw the nursery painted the wrong color, felt the apology in how they introduce me.
"For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well."
-- Psalm 139:13-14Source: Enemy using human preference to override God's intentional design, making gender a mistake instead of a CHOICE.
Maybe they told you directly: 'We were hoping for a boy.' Maybe you saw the blue nursery hastily repainted pink. Maybe your name was supposed to be Michael, not Michelle. The disappointment was REAL and repeated.
A woman in a culture that devalued females, widowed twice, had to disguise herself as a prostitute to get justice. Scandalous, messy, 'should have been different.' Yet she's one of FIVE women named in Jesus' genealogy. Her 'wrong' story became a RIGHT lineage.
I REFUSE the lie that my gender is a disappointment or mistake. IT IS WRITTEN that God FORMED me, covered me, made me FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY. My gender is not an accident; it's an ASSIGNMENT. IT IS WRITTEN that in Christ there is neither male nor female—we are all ONE in Him and heirs according to promise. The BARAK blessing doesn't prefer sons over daughters. I am not the wrong gender; I am the RIGHT design for the purpose God has for me. Heaven celebrated my EXACT gender at conception, and no human preference can diminish that.
Your Father didn't check the ultrasound and sigh in disappointment. He CHOSE your gender with the same intentionality an artist chooses colors. You are not a plan B—you are THE plan, perfectly female (or male) for what He's called you to do.