"I should cut them off financially to teach them the consequences of their choices."
How it sounds in your head: Every financial advisor, every Dave Ramsey podcast, every boundaries book says enabling helps no one. 'Tough love' is the responsible thing. If you keep helping, they'll never learn. Let them hit rock bottom—that's what finally works, right?
"But the father said to his servants, 'Bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet. And bring the fatted calf here and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate.'"
-- Luke 15:22-23World's wisdom mixed with older-brother theology, making provision conditional on behavior.
Culture unanimously agrees—financially supporting bad behavior prevents growth. Plus you're tired of being used. Boundaries feel like wisdom.
After blowing his entire inheritance on prostitutes, the prodigal returned expecting servant status. The father gave him full son status INSTANTLY—robe, ring, sandals, party—zero 'earn it back' period, zero financial lectures, pure grace.
I REFUSE the lie that cutting them off financially is God's wisdom. IT IS WRITTEN that the Father gave the prodigal full provision WHILE HE STILL SMELLED LIKE PIGS—no earning back trust, no probation period. Dave Ramsey isn't the Holy Spirit. Boundaries books don't know my child or God's strategy for their story. IT IS WRITTEN that the BARAK blessing means I lend and don't borrow, have surplus for my storehouses—that includes GENEROSITY to my children as the Spirit leads. I'm not the older brother demanding they earn what's freely given. I ask Holy Spirit per situation—sometimes provision reveals the Father, sometimes it delays rock bottom. I follow HIM, not formulas.
The Father is more concerned with revealing His heart than teaching lessons through deprivation. Ask Him per situation—His strategy for your child trumps every financial guru's formula.