"I should be over my childhood trauma by now; still being affected proves I'm stuck."
How it sounds in your head: It's been decades. You've done therapy, read books, prayed through it. If you were really healed, it wouldn't still trigger you. Other people move on from their past. Why are you still carrying this?
"Do not remember the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing, now it shall spring forth; shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert."
-- Isaiah 43:18-19Performance-based healing with arbitrary timelines, from culture's quick-fix mentality applied to deep soul wounds.
You've put in years of work and expected to reach a point where the past doesn't touch you anymore. When something triggers an old wound, it feels like evidence you failed at healing or didn't do it right.
Joseph was triggered by his brothers even AFTER he'd forgiven them and been reconciled for years—they feared he'd retaliate after their father died. Triggers decades later didn't negate his genuine healing and redemption story.
I REFUSE the lie that I should be over my trauma by now. IT IS WRITTEN God is doing a NEW thing that springs forth NOW—not demanding I should have finished healing by now. Joseph was triggered decades after forgiving his brothers, yet was still walking in his purpose. I am the righteousness of God in Christ RIGHT NOW, not after I stop being triggered. IT IS WRITTEN He completes the work until the day of Christ Jesus—there's no age deadline. My tenderness is not failure.
Father is running toward you in your triggered moments with the robe of righteousness that doesn't wait for you to stop feeling the past. He's making rivers in your desert RIGHT NOW, not condemning you for still being in the wilderness.