"God is punishing me for past sins—abortion, sexual past, or mistakes I've made."
How it sounds in your head: The voice whispers that you forfeited your right to motherhood when you made that choice years ago. Every negative pregnancy test feels like divine payback, proof that some sins are too big to be truly forgiven.
"And you, being dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, He has made alive together with Him, having forgiven you all trespasses, having wiped out the handwriting of requirements that was against us, which was contrary to us. And He has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross."
-- Colossians 2:13-14Source: Religious teaching that grace has limits, shame from past trauma, enemy accusation exploiting old wounds, abortion-regret weaponized as punishment narrative.
The timeline seems to connect—you can pinpoint the sin and the current suffering, and your brain creates a cause-effect narrative. Church culture has reinforced that certain sins have permanent earthly consequences even if eternally forgiven.
Rahab was a prostitute in Jericho, selling her body for money, living in open sexual sin. Yet God chose HER to hide the spies, save her family, marry into Israel, and become the great-great-grandmother of DAVID—in the direct line of JESUS. Her sexual past didn't disqualify her from the most honored lineage in history.
I REFUSE the lie that God is punishing me for my past. IT IS WRITTEN that He has forgiven me ALL trespasses and nailed every accusation to the cross. My sexual past, my abortion, my mistakes—they are COVERED by the blood. IT IS WRITTEN that He remembers my sins NO MORE. I am not disqualified. Rahab was a prostitute in the line of Jesus. The woman at the well became an evangelist. The BARAK blessing covers LIARS and DECEIVERS—how much more does grace cover me? My womb is blessed, my future is open, and my past is GONE. I am righteous RIGHT NOW.
The Father isn't holding your abortion or sexual past over your head, demanding penance through barrenness—He's the One who put a prostitute in the Messianic line and made a serial-husband woman His evangelist. Your past is buried in the sea of His forgetfulness, and He's running toward you with LIFE.