"God is frustrated that I never fully surrendered or gave Him my whole heart."
How it sounds in your head: I was always holding something back. Never quite 'all in.' I see these people who are totally sold out and I was always half-hearted. God wanted all of me and I gave Him crumbs. He's frustrated with my lukewarm life.
"He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love."
-- Ephesians 1:4Source: Religion created measurement scales for surrender, making people perpetually unsure if they've given 'enough' to satisfy God.
He compares himself to more 'radical' believers and always feels he came up short. The inability to quantify 'full surrender' creates permanent uncertainty, and approaching death makes him feel he's out of chances to finally get it right.
Lot pitched his tent toward Sodom, moved into Sodom, got drunk, and committed incest with his daughters—yet 2 Peter 2:7 calls him 'righteous Lot' and God sent angels to physically drag him out of judgment because Abraham prayed. Righteousness by covenant, not surrender level.
I REFUSE the lie that God's acceptance of me is measured by my level of surrender. IT IS WRITTEN that He chose me before the foundation of the world and calls me 'holy and WITHOUT BLAME.' I don't make myself blameless—JESUS DID THAT. My Father is not frustrated—He is SATISFIED by the blood of His Son. IT IS WRITTEN in Hebrews 10:14 that 'by one offering He has perfected FOREVER those who are being sanctified.' PERFECTED. FOREVER. Not when I finally surrender enough—NOW. The BARAK blessing wasn't based on Abraham's level of commitment—he LIED twice and God still protected him. I am accepted in the BELOVED.
Your Father isn't waiting for you to finally 'go all in'—He went all in at the cross and declared it FINISHED. You are fully accepted right now because Jesus fully surrendered FOR you.