"God gave me this disease to keep me humble and dependent on Him"
How it sounds in your head: You were getting prideful, self-sufficient. This diagnosis is actually God's grace, keeping you broken and needy so you don't drift away. Weakness keeps you close to Him.
"Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits: who forgives all your iniquities, who heals all your diseases."
-- Psalm 103:2-3Distorted view of God as one who authors disease to maintain control, denying His good Father nature.
You were feeling strong and capable before the diagnosis, and now you're praying more and leaning on God in ways you weren't before. The correlation seems to confirm that sickness serves a spiritual purpose.
The boy went to the field, complained his head hurt, was carried home, and died in his mother's lap. She laid him on Elisha's bed, traveled to the prophet, and Elisha came and raised him from the dead IMMEDIATELY—God didn't need the death to teach a lesson.
I REFUSE the lie that my Father gave me disease to keep me humble. IT IS WRITTEN that He heals ALL my diseases as a BENEFIT of His covenant love. Jesus healed everyone, never weaponizing sickness for spiritual formation. My dependence flows from love, not from disease. IT IS WRITTEN that by His stripes I was healed. I am the righteousness of God in Christ, loved and healed, not broken and diseased. The BARAK blessing brings health, not sickness. My humility comes from knowing who He is, not from what disease does. I receive healing now because He's a good Father, not a cosmic manipulator.
Your Father doesn't need to break your body to have your heart—He already won it at the cross. He's not keeping you sick to maintain closeness; He's eager to heal you instantly so you can serve Him in strength, not weakness.