"God could heal me instantly but chooses not to, so He must not care."
How it sounds in your head: He healed people in the Bible instantly. He CAN do it. He's just not doing it for you. What does that say about how He feels about you? You're not worth the miracle.
"The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit."
-- Psalm 34:18Enemy + trauma: Satan twists unanswered prayer into evidence of God's rejection, making sovereignty look like coldness.
You've seen God come through for others. You've prayed desperately. The silence feels like rejection. If He could but won't, that feels worse than if He couldn't.
Jesus LOVED Lazarus, got message he was sick, STAYED two more days letting him die. Sisters said 'If You had been here, he wouldn't have died' - seemed like Jesus didn't care. But Jesus WEPT with them, then raised Lazarus from 4-day death - the DELAY produced a greater miracle than healing sickness would have.
I REFUSE the lie that God doesn't care. IT IS WRITTEN: The LORD is NEAR to my broken heart - He's not distant, He's CLOSE to my pain. His delays are not denials. Jesus let Lazarus DIE because He loved him enough to resurrect him - sometimes 'not yet' produces greater miracles than 'yes' would have. IT IS WRITTEN: God works ALL things together for my GOOD (Romans 8:28) - even this. He who did NOT spare His own Son will freely give me all things (Romans 8:32) - His love is proven at the CROSS, not by my circumstances. I am LOVED beyond measure.
The Father didn't make the prodigal prove anything before lavishing love - He ran while the son was 'still a long way off.' Your healing status doesn't determine His love. He's not withholding - He's WEEPING WITH YOU while planning resurrection.