"My miscarriages were punishment. God was withholding because I wasn't ready or good enough."
How it sounds in your head: Even now, fifty years later, you remember what you were doing wrong when you lost each baby. Maybe you were too anxious, too selfish, too focused on career. Surely God was trying to teach you something through the losses.
"The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly."
-- John 10:10Religious teaching that miscarriage indicates sin or spiritual failure, making God the author of death instead of the enemy.
You've spent decades analyzing what you did wrong, and the church told you everything happens for a reason, so the losses must have been your fault. You never felt holy enough to carry a baby to term.
Her miracle son died suddenly in her arms, but she REFUSED to call it good or God's will. She rode to Elisha declaring 'It is well' while demanding resurrection, and God raised the boy INSTANTLY because she wouldn't accept death as the final word.
I REFUSE the lie that my miscarriages were punishment. IT IS WRITTEN the thief comes to kill but Jesus came to bring ABUNDANT LIFE. The enemy stole from my womb, but God was NOT withholding. I was NEVER not good enough. IT IS WRITTEN there is NO condemnation in Christ, and I stand in TOTAL righteousness through His blood. Those babies are alive in heaven, not evidence of my failure. I am the BLESSED of the Lord, and the BARAK covers even my losses with His resurrection power.
The Father is pulling you into His lap, showing you the babies He's been holding all these years, whispering, 'You'll hold them soon, and they've never doubted My goodness or yours.' The miscarriages broke His heart too - He was never the author.