"My kids would be better off with a different mom—someone more patient, more organized, more emotionally stable."
How it sounds in your head: They deserve better than you. A more patient mother wouldn't yell. A more organized mother would have systems and structure. A more emotionally stable mother wouldn't cry in front of them or struggle with her own mental health. They got the defective version when they deserved the deluxe model.
"Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them."
-- Psalm 139:16Identity destruction lie that makes her believe her children would be better served by her removal from the equation.
She compares herself to mothers who seem to have it together and feels her kids drew the short straw. Every moment of impatience, disorganization, or emotional struggle feels like evidence her children deserved someone better equipped.
Jochebed had to hide Moses for three months in terror, then put him in a basket in a river, then give him to Pharaoh's daughter to raise. She got him back as his nurse but lost him to the palace. Imperfect circumstances, yet God chose HER to birth and initially form the deliverer of Israel.
I REFUSE the lie that my kids would be better off with a different mother. IT IS WRITTEN in Psalm 139:16 that God fashioned our days together before any of us existed—this was not a mistake or a backup plan. He chose ME to be THEIR mother with full knowledge of my humanity, my struggles, my limitations. IT IS WRITTEN that I am not the defective version; I am the chosen version. The BARAK blessing means my family is covered not by my perfection but by His perfect plan. My kids don't need a different mom. They need the one God wrote into their story before time: me.
The Father isn't wishing He'd assigned your kids to someone else; He's delighting that He matched them with exactly the mother whose specific combination of strengths and struggles would shape them into who He created them to become. While you've been convinced they deserved better, He's been smiling at the perfect pairing He authored before the foundation of the world.