"My body is being punished with infertility because I didn't want children earlier when I could have had them."
How it sounds in your head: I spent my twenties on birth control, focused on my career, even felt relieved when I wasn't pregnant. Now that I desperately want a baby, it feels like cosmic justice that my body won't cooperate. Maybe God is saying 'you had your chance and you rejected it.'
"So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the crawling locust, the consuming locust, and the chewing locust."
-- Joel 2:25Source: Enemy's accusation + religious karma theology + regret weaponized as punishment
The timing feels too coincidental - she didn't want children then, and now that she does, her body won't cooperate. It feels like a direct consequence of not wanting motherhood when it would have been easier.
Sarah tried to make it happen her way with Hagar, doubting God's promise and creating a mess that still affects the Middle East today. Despite her unbelief and her own failed attempt at motherhood, God gave her Isaac anyway - He didn't punish her doubt by withholding the promise; He FULFILLED it despite her mistakes.
I REFUSE the lie that God is punishing me with infertility because I didn't want children when I was younger. IT IS WRITTEN that God RESTORES the years the locust has eaten - He doesn't hold my past choices against my present body. My earlier lack of desire doesn't disqualify my current longing from being fulfilled. IT IS WRITTEN that there is NO condemnation for those in Christ - not even for wrong timing or past ambivalence about motherhood. I am Abraham's seed, and the BARAK blessing doesn't require perfect life planning. Sarah doubted, schemed, and created disaster, but God gave her Isaac anyway. I receive supernatural conception NOW, regardless of what I wanted or didn't want THEN, by the grace of a God who restores and doesn't punish.
The Father isn't punishing your present self for your past self's choices about motherhood - He's the Father who gave Sarah a baby despite her unbelief and schemes, delighting in fulfilling promises even when we doubt them. He's running toward you now with the baby you currently long for, not keeping score of when you should have wanted it, because restoration is His specialty and grace doesn't operate on karma.