"I'm too broken from past trauma for God to fully use me or heal me."
How it sounds in your head: Everyone else seems to have a testimony of complete healing and 'beauty from ashes,' but I'm still triggered by certain smells and dates. It's been years - why am I not over this? Maybe the damage is too deep. Maybe I missed my window for full restoration.
"And He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me."
-- 2 Corinthians 12:9Teaching that healing should be instant and complete, making ongoing PTSD symptoms feel like personal failure or lack of faith rather than complex trauma requiring layered healing.
She's been prayed over multiple times, gone through deliverance, fasted, and still has flashbacks. Other women share their 'set free' stories while she's still in therapy unpacking layers. It feels like her brokenness is too much even for God.
Mephibosheth was crippled from childhood trauma (dropped by his nurse at age five) and lived in hiding for years. David didn't 'heal' his legs before restoring him - he brought him to the king's table STILL DISABLED, gave him back everything, and he ate there for life 'lame in both feet.'
I REFUSE the lie that I'm too broken for God to use. IT IS WRITTEN that God's strength is made PERFECT in weakness, not despite it. Paul's thorn wasn't removed - God's power rested ON it. My ongoing healing isn't failure; it's the canvas for His glory. IT IS WRITTEN in Isaiah 61:3 He gives beauty for ashes - a process I'm allowed to walk. Mephibosheth ate at the king's table still lame in both feet. The BARAK blessing doesn't require wholeness first - Jacob was blessed while literally limping. I am righteous, usable, and deeply loved in the middle of my healing journey, not just at the end.
The Father sees the trauma you carry, the triggers you still navigate, the layers you're still unpacking, and He's not waiting for you to 'get over it' to love you or use you. He's running toward you like David ran toward Mephibosheth, saying 'Come to My table NOW, daughter - limp and all. You're not too broken; you're perfectly Mine.'