"I'm the problem in every relationship. If I were different, easier, better—people would stay."
How it sounds in your head: My parents fight less now that I'm gone. My ex is happier with his new girlfriend. My friends seem lighter when I'm not around. Maybe I'm the common denominator in every failure.
"The LORD has appeared of old to me, saying: 'Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you.'"
-- Jeremiah 31:3Enemy + religion: You've been taught that relational pain is always evidence of personal failure—that you're responsible for everyone's comfort.
You've watched relationships thrive after you left them. People's relief when you stop sharing hard things feels like proof. Your anxiety whispers that if you were just less broken, people would want to stay.
An adulteress who repeatedly left her husband for other men—a walking relational disaster. God told Hosea to BUY HER BACK from slavery, love her again, not because she changed but to DEMONSTRATE God's love for Israel. God used the 'problem person' as the PICTURE of His relentless love.
I REFUSE the lie that I'm the problem in every relationship. IT IS WRITTEN that God loves me with an EVERLASTING love—not love with an expiration date based on my performance. I am not responsible for everyone's comfort or happiness. The Father didn't wait for me to be easy before pursuing me. IT IS WRITTEN in John 6:37 that Jesus will NEVER cast me out—not 'cast me out when I'm difficult,' NEVER. The BARAK blessing over me is based on COVENANT not character. I am Abraham's seed, blessed even when Abraham LIED, TWICE.
The Father isn't relieved when you're quiet or gone. He's not happier when you pretend to be fine. He's pursuing you hardest in the seasons you're convinced you're too much trouble. He bought you back when you were EXPENSIVE.