"If the version of God I was taught isn't real, maybe no God exists at all."
How it sounds in your head: The angry God isn't real. The scorekeeper God isn't real. The conditional-love God isn't real. So maybe you just made up a nicer version to cope. Maybe it's all projection—no one's actually there.
"Who being the brightness of His glory and the express image of His person, and upholding all things by the word of His power, when He had by Himself purged our sins, sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high."
-- Hebrews 1:3Enemy uses necessary deconstruction of FALSE God-images to suggest no true God exists.
She's realizing the God she was taught bears little resemblance to Jesus, and the dissonance makes her wonder if she's creating a custom God to feel better rather than encountering a real one.
She mistook Jesus for the gardener until He spoke her name—her inability to recognize Him didn't mean He wasn't there. One word from Him brought instant recognition and joy.
I REFUSE the lie that deconstructing false God-images means no God exists. IT IS WRITTEN that Jesus is the exact representation of God's nature—the angry scorekeeper was the LIE, not the loving Father. IT IS WRITTEN that Mary couldn't recognize Jesus until He spoke her name—my confusion about His identity doesn't negate His presence. I'm not losing God; I'm losing the COUNTERFEIT and meeting the Real One. I am Abraham's seed, and the BARAK blessing reveals the true covenant-keeping Father versus the imposter religion created. The real God is running toward me even while I'm questioning, speaking my name in the garden of my doubt.
Your Father is celebrating that you're rejecting the false image religion gave you—He's been waiting for you to discover the real Him, and every false layer falling away is bringing you closer to His actual heart.