"If I had been a better Christian example, my kids would still be in church."
How it sounds in your head: They watched me struggle with faith, saw my doubts, noticed when I was angry at God. If I had been more consistent, more joyful, more devoted, they wouldn't have walked away. My hypocrisy drove them from Jesus.
"No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him; and I will raise him up at the last day."
-- John 6:44Religious lie that children's faith is produced by parent's performance rather than God's sovereign grace and individual choice.
You remember specific moments of weakness they witnessed, and now they're not attending church. The correlation feels like causation, and Christian culture reinforces this with 'train up a child' weaponized as guarantee.
Lois had sincere faith that dwelt in her, then in her daughter Eunice, then in Timothy - but this was God's WORK through generations, not a formula she executed perfectly. Paul credits GOD's grace, not Lois's flawless performance, and we have no record she did everything right.
I REFUSE the lie that my children's faith depends on my perfect example. IT IS WRITTEN that no one comes to Jesus unless the Father draws them - their salvation is HIS work, not mine. I am not the Holy Spirit in their lives. I am a daughter of the King, righteous in Christ, whether my kids are in church or not. IT IS WRITTEN that I am complete in Him, not measured by my children's choices. The Father is running after them with the same grace that saved me when I was running AWAY.
The Father is embracing you, the 'imperfect example,' with the same arms that will embrace your prodigal children when they return. He's not waiting for you to be better before He pursues them - He's already running toward them while you're still ashamed of your inconsistency.