"I was never proud of my children or affirmed them enough - now they're adults desperately seeking validation."
How it sounds in your head: You see it now - your son still trying to prove himself, your daughter fishing for compliments, both of them chasing approval from everyone. You realize you never said 'I'm proud of you,' never affirmed their worth, never expressed delight in who they were. You thought tough love built character, but all it built was insecurity. They're still trying to earn the approval you never gave.
"The Lord your God in your midst, the Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing."
-- Zephaniah 3:17Enemy using generational patterns of emotional withholding to make him responsible for their adult validation struggles rather than pointing to the Father's constant affirmation.
He recognizes now that he rarely expressed pride or approval, operating from a 'don't praise too much or they'll get prideful' mentality common to his generation. He sees his adult children's approval-seeking behaviors and traces it to his withholding of affirmation.
Leah spent years desperate for Jacob's approval, naming her sons cries for affirmation, unloved and unaffirmed by her husband - yet God saw her affliction, blessed her above the favored Rachel, and placed Judah (the Messianic line) through the unloved wife. Divine approval trumped human withholding.
I REFUSE the lie that my children are validation-starved because I didn't affirm them enough. IT IS WRITTEN that God rejoices over them with SINGING, and He is flooding them RIGHT NOW with affirmation that fills every gap I left. I WAS an imperfect father, but they have a PERFECT Father who delights in them constantly, and His approval is teaching them their worth. IT IS WRITTEN that He declared Jesus 'beloved' before any ministry - my children are hearing that SAME declaration over them NOW based on position, not performance. I DECLARE the BARAK blessing establishes their identity in HIS approval - the same God who blessed unloved Leah above favored Rachel is blessing my children with divine affirmation that makes human approval irrelevant. Their validation comes from the THRONE.
Your Father is whispering: 'I am SINGING over your children right now with delight, affirming their worth in ways you never could, establishing their identity in approval that never wavers or depends on performance. Every gap you left in affirmation, I am filling with MY constant delight in them, and they are learning their value from the One who paid everything for them.' He's been proud of them all along.