"If anyone at church knew what I've been watching, I'd be kicked out forever"
How it sounds in your head: Every time you sit in youth group, you feel like a fraud. You think if the pastor knew your search history, he'd tell your parents and you'd be exposed in front of everyone. You're sure God is disgusted every time you fail again.
"There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit."
-- Romans 8:1Source: religious shame teaching that God's love depends on your sexual purity - common in purity culture that measures your worth by what you haven't done.
Your body is screaming at you with new desires you never asked for, and nobody taught you that temptation isn't sin. Every message you've heard made it sound like one look means you're damaged goods forever.
Rahab was ACTIVELY working as a prostitute when the spies came - her sin was literally her job. God didn't make her clean up first, serve probation, or prove herself pure. She simply believed, and INSTANTLY became part of Israel - and later, part of Jesus' family line in Matthew 1.
I REFUSE the lie that my secret struggles disqualify me from God's family. IT IS WRITTEN in Romans 8:1 that there is NO condemnation for those in Christ Jesus - and that's my position RIGHT NOW, not after I'm perfect. The blood of Jesus covers what I remember AND what I've forgotten. IT IS WRITTEN in Hebrews 4:16 that I come BOLDLY to the throne of grace - not crawling, not ashamed, but BOLD because of what HE did. I am Abraham's seed by covenant, heir to the BARAK blessing that protected liars and deceivers - how much MORE does it cover me in the BETTER covenant! My identity is SON, not fraud.
The Father sees you RIGHT NOW through the lens of Jesus' finished work - and He's not disgusted, He's running toward you with the robe and ring. Your struggle with sexual temptation at 13 doesn't surprise Him or change how He feels about you - He made your body, He knows puberty is real, and He's not waiting for you to be perfect before He moves in your life.