"I wasted years being angry at them instead of making peace before they died."
How it sounds in your head: I had time. They were alive for years after I realized what they'd done. But I held onto the anger. I nursed it. Now they're gone and I can't get those years back. The anger robbed me of whatever relationship we could have salvaged.
"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose."
-- Romans 8:28Enemy weaponizing regret to create double torment—guilt for the anger AND guilt for not releasing it sooner.
The calendar doesn't lie. He counts the years he avoided calls, skipped holidays, kept emotional distance. Those years are gone and parents are gone—feels like permanent loss.
Deserted Paul on first missionary journey, caused such division that Paul refused to take him again. Years lost to that failure. But Paul's final letter says 'Get Mark—he is USEFUL to me'—complete restoration of wasted years.
I REFUSE the lie that anger wasted my years beyond redemption. IT IS WRITTEN that all things work together for good—even my angry years, even my protective distance, even my imperfect process. I am not condemned for being human. IT IS WRITTEN in Romans 8:1 there is NO condemnation for those in Christ Jesus. God gave me those years to survive, to process, to become ready. The BARAK blessing includes restoration of time—God commanded the sun to stand still for Joshua and moved it backward for Hezekiah. Time is not my master. The Father doesn't mourn the years I needed to heal. He celebrates that I'm ready NOW. I receive restoration, redemption, and the declaration that NOTHING was wasted. Every year shaped me into who I am today, and He calls it GOOD.
Your Father doesn't see wasted years. He sees a son who needed time to heal before he could reconcile, and He honors that. The prodigal spent YEARS in the pig pen—the father didn't count them as waste, he threw a party the moment he came home.