"I wasn't wanted then, and I'm not wanted now as I'm dying."
How it sounds in your head: The rejection bookends match perfectly—unwanted at birth, unwanted at death. Visitors are dutiful, not delighted. The hospice workers are paid to care. Even God must be ready for you to finally leave since you were never supposed to arrive. Nobody WANTS a 90-year-old dying man.
"The LORD your God in your midst, the Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing."
-- Zephaniah 3:17Enemy uses your first wound (unwanted at birth) to poison your last season (unwanted at death), making rejection the theme of your entire story.
Because visits are shorter now, conversations more strained, and you can feel people's discomfort with your dying process. The world pulls away from the elderly and dying, confirming the lie that you're unwanted coming and going.
Bartimaeus was a blind beggar—society's unwanted, sitting by the roadside discarded. When he cried out to Jesus, the crowd told him to SHUT UP. Jesus stopped everything, called him over, and said 'What do you WANT me to do for you?'—immediate attention, immediate healing, immediate 'your faith has made you well.'
I REFUSE the lie that I'm unwanted at birth and unwanted at death. IT IS WRITTEN that the LORD rejoices over me with SINGING—not duty, not obligation, but GLADNESS. Heaven is not waiting for me to leave earth; Heaven is preparing to WELCOME me home. IT IS WRITTEN that God will quiet me with His LOVE in my final days, and I hear His song even now. The BARAK blessing means I am WANTED in His presence, and my arrival in Heaven will be met with JOY, not reluctance. I am CELEBRATED, DELIGHTED IN, WANTED beyond measure.
The Father isn't counting down until you're gone—He's counting down until you're HOME. Every breath brings you closer to the embrace He's been preparing, and Heaven is making room not out of duty but DESIRE for you.