"I should apologize for existing and taking up space in this family."
How it sounds in your head: I need to be smaller, quieter, need less. Maybe if I apologize enough and don't ask for anything, they'll want me more. I should earn my spot at the table.
"For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them."
-- Ephesians 2:10Performance-for-love lie from enemy, teaching child to shrink instead of shine, requiring payment for gift of belonging.
He's been corrected for being too loud, too messy, too expensive, too much. His brain records these as 'you're too much to want,' and he begins apologizing for existing instead of celebrating it.
Mephibosheth was crippled, living in hiding, convinced he had no right to the king's table - he called himself a 'dead dog.' King David said 'Don't fear' and RESTORED everything, gave him permanent place at the king's table like a SON - not earned, just GIVEN.
I REFUSE the lie that I should apologize for existing or shrink to earn love. IT IS WRITTEN that I am God's WORKMANSHIP, His MASTERPIECE, created for prepared purposes. I don't earn space - I OCCUPY it by design. IT IS WRITTEN that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and ALL God's works are marvelous. That includes ME. The BARAK blessing means I'm SUPPOSED to take up space, supposed to SHINE, supposed to be SEEN. I am not too much. I am not a burden. I am a MASTERPIECE taking my place.
The Father is pulling out your chair at His table: 'Stop apologizing, son. This seat has YOUR NAME on it, carved before the foundation of the world. You're not crashing the party - you're the GUEST OF HONOR I've been waiting for.'