"I need to have victory over this eating disorder before God can use me."
How it sounds in your head: How can I serve in youth group when I'm still purging? I need to get this under control first. God can't use broken vessels like me until I'm fixed.
"But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty."
-- 1 Corinthians 1:27Source: Performance theology that makes usefulness conditional on personal victory rather than God's power in weakness.
Leaders seem perfect. She's never heard a worship leader admit to current struggles. Ministry feels like a privilege for people who have it together.
God used Rahab to save the spies WHILE she was actively working as a prostitute. She didn't clean up first - she was IN the brothel when God chose her for His mission and put her in the Messianic line.
I REFUSE the lie that I must be fixed before God uses me. IT IS WRITTEN God chooses the WEAK things to shame the mighty. My eating disorder doesn't disqualify me from His purposes. IT IS WRITTEN His strength is perfected IN weakness, not after I overcome. I am Abraham's seed, called and chosen by PROMISE not performance. The BARAK blessing flows while I struggle. God is using me NOW, not later.
The Father is placing you in ministry positions WHILE you struggle, the same way He used Rahab FROM the brothel. He's not waiting for you to conquer this - He's using your weakness to display His strength.