"I need to forgive my ex perfectly before God will bless me again."
How it sounds in your head: They tell me I have to release my ex completely, harbor no bitterness, wish them well. But when I see their social media with someone new, the rage comes back. I must not be forgiving right, so God's holding back His blessing until I can do it perfectly.
"And you, being dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, He has made alive together with Him, having forgiven you all trespasses, having wiped out the handwriting of requirements that was against us, which was contrary to us. And He has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross."
-- Colossians 2:13-14Religious teaching that your forgiveness of others is a prerequisite for God's blessing, making you responsible for manufacturing emotions you don't feel.
You DO still feel anger, and the teaching that 'unforgiveness blocks blessings' makes every bitter thought feel like it's building a wall between you and God's goodness.
While being STONED TO DEATH, Stephen cried out for God to forgive his murderers. He didn't wait until he 'felt' forgiving - he declared it while rocks were crushing his skull. And God immediately received him into glory and counted him as the first martyr, launching the entire Gentile mission through Saul's witnessing it.
I REFUSE the lie that I have to manufacture perfect forgiveness before God blesses me. IT IS WRITTEN in Colossians 2:13-14 that He has ALREADY forgiven me ALL trespasses - past tense, finished. Stephen declared forgiveness while being murdered - it's a DECISION, not a feeling. IT IS WRITTEN in Romans 8:1 there is NO condemnation to those in Christ. My blessing isn't held hostage by my emotional state. The BARAK protected Abraham even when HE was in the wrong. I forgive FROM my secure position as beloved daughter, not to EARN that position. God's goodness toward me is ALREADY released.
Your Father isn't waiting for you to feel warm fuzzies toward your ex before He moves on your behalf. He knows the wound is real, the anger justified. He's already blessed you, already positioned you for breakthrough. Forgiveness will come as you RECEIVE His love for you, not as you manufacture love for your ex.