"I just need to accept this cross to carry and stop being selfish wanting relief."
How it sounds in your head: Jesus said take up your cross daily. Maybe my chronic pain IS my cross—complaining about it shows I'm not willing to suffer for Him. Other Christians endure worse. I should stop being self-focused and just bear it.
"That it might be fulfilled which was spoken by Isaiah the prophet, saying: 'He Himself took our infirmities and bore our sicknesses.'"
-- Matthew 8:17Twisted martyrdom theology (religion) equating chronic illness with spiritual cross-bearing and healing desire with selfishness.
Church culture celebrates suffering as spiritual maturity and frames healing requests as self-centered. Comparing her pain to Jesus' sacrifice creates guilt for wanting relief.
Bent over for 18 YEARS, couldn't straighten up—a lifetime of suffering. Jesus called her forward in the synagogue and said 'Woman, you are LOOSED from your infirmity,' laid hands on her, and IMMEDIATELY she was made straight and glorified God.
I REFUSE the lie that chronic pain is my cross to bear. IT IS WRITTEN that Jesus HIMSELF took my infirmities and bore my sicknesses—He carried them so I wouldn't have to. My cross is denying self-will, not accepting sickness. Jesus never told one sick person 'keep your disease as your cross'—He healed them ALL and set them free. IT IS WRITTEN that whom the Son sets free is free INDEED. I am Abraham's seed under the BARAK blessing, not under a curse of perpetual suffering. I declare I am LOOSED from this infirmity just like the woman bent double—IMMEDIATELY made straight. Receiving healing isn't selfish; it's honoring what Jesus PAID FOR.
Your Father doesn't want you suffering to prove your devotion—He already knows you love Him. Jesus took YOUR pain in HIS body on the cross so you could walk in freedom. He's not asking you to carry what He already carried; He's asking you to receive the gift He died to give.