"I have to stay single now and focus on 'healing' before I can have relationship again."
How it sounds in your head: Every Christian book and counselor says you need at least a year, maybe two, maybe more. Don't even think about dating until you've 'done the work.' You're not ready. You need to prove you're healthy first. More therapy, more processing, more waiting. Maybe then you'll deserve love again.
"And He said to her, 'Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace, and be healed of your affliction.'"
-- Mark 5:34Source: Psychology masked as Christianity. The therapeutic culture that makes healing a process to achieve rather than a gift already given.
Every divorced person you know has been told this. It sounds wise and responsible. Your own fear of repeating mistakes makes it feel right. Jumping in too fast seems reckless.
Twelve years of bleeding, spent everything on doctors, only got worse, ceremonially unclean and isolated. One touch of Jesus and IMMEDIATELY the bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was healed. Instant, not process.
I REFUSE the lie that I must complete a healing timeline before I'm ready for relationship again. IT IS WRITTEN that by His stripes I WAS healed - past tense, finished work. I am not becoming whole; I AM whole in Christ, complete and lacking nothing. IT IS WRITTEN that I am a NEW CREATION in Christ; old things have passed away and ALL things have become new. My readiness isn't based on months of processing but on being IN CHRIST where I am the righteousness of God. The woman bleeding 12 years was healed INSTANTLY, not gradually. I receive the peace and wholeness Jesus already purchased. I am not broken waiting to be fixed; I am BLESSED and walking in the BARAK that makes me ready NOW.
The Father who healed 12 years of affliction in one moment isn't making you sit in a waiting room until you've proven you're healthy enough. He's already declared you whole in Christ and is opening doors while religion tells you to wait.