"I have to choose sides between Mom and Dad."
How it sounds in your head: Mom vents to me about Dad. Dad makes comments about Mom. They both want me to agree with them. I feel torn in half. If I'm nice to one, I'm betraying the other.
"So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."
-- Matthew 19:6Source: Trauma from inappropriate parent-child boundaries—being pulled into adult conflict as emotional support or referee.
She's literally being asked (directly or indirectly) to validate each parent's perspective. Saying nothing feels like picking a side too.
Two women claimed the same baby. Solomon offered to cut the baby in half. The REAL mother said no, give the baby to the other woman whole—she refused to let the child be divided even to win.
I REFUSE the lie that I must choose sides. IT IS WRITTEN that what God has joined together, let no man separate—and I won't separate them either. I am the DAUGHTER, not the judge. IT IS WRITTEN that I honor my father AND my mother. I can love BOTH without being torn in half. I release inappropriate responsibility. God joined them, God will heal them. I stay in my lane as the LOVED CHILD. I am whole, not divided!
Father is running toward you saying, 'You're the CHILD, not the marriage counselor. Let them vent to ME, not you. Come here and just be My little girl. I'll carry the weight of their healing—you just be loved.'