"I had an abortion of a baby conceived in rape and God hates me for both."
How it sounds in your head: The rape wasn't my fault, but ending the pregnancy feels like I compounded the tragedy. I took a life that came from violence, and now I carry guilt for both things—being assaulted and choosing abortion. How could God forgive either?
"The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit."
-- Psalm 34:18Enemy heaping trauma upon trauma, using the worst moment of your life as evidence of permanent disqualification and God's rejection.
The layers of trauma feel insurmountable—violation, loss, grief, and guilt tangled together. Religious voices that emphasize the sanctity of life without addressing the horror of rape make you feel damned either way.
Tamar was violently raped by her half-brother, then left desolate and broken. Scripture records her trauma with compassion, names her rapist as wicked, and includes her in the family line that brought Jesus—God honored her pain, not her violation.
I REFUSE the lie that God holds me guilty for being violated or for the decision I made in trauma. IT IS WRITTEN that the Lord is NEAR to the broken-hearted and SAVES those with contrite spirits—that's me. IT IS WRITTEN that there is NO condemnation for those in Christ. The rape was violence against me, not sin I committed. The abortion was a decision made in unimaginable pain, and Jesus already carried that guilt. I am Abraham's seed, covered by the BARAK blessing that isn't based on perfect choices but on covenant. The Father sees me as beloved, blameless, and worthy because of Jesus.
The Father wept when you were violated and wept again when you carried impossible grief. He doesn't see you as guilty—He sees you as His wounded daughter who needs His arms around her, and He's been waiting to hold you through the pain you've been carrying alone.