"I deserved the way my parents treated me because I was a difficult child."
How it sounds in your head: I wasn't easy. I was rebellious, angry, too much. Maybe if I'd been different, they would have loved me better. Even now at 90, I wonder if I drove them to it. Perhaps I earned the neglect and the harshness. Bad kids get bad parenting.
"But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
-- Romans 5:8Enemy reversing causation to make a child responsible for an adult's sin, creating a shame-loop that survives decades.
They told you it was your fault, and children believe what parents say about them. You can remember being difficult, so the equation seems sound: difficult child = harsh treatment deserved.
Deserted Paul and Barnabas on the mission field, caused a sharp disagreement that split the team, was rejected by Paul as unreliable. Years later, Paul wrote 'Get Mark and bring him with you, for he is useful to me for ministry'—completely restored despite being 'difficult' and a failure, instant value declared.
I REFUSE the lie that I deserved abuse because I was difficult or that my childhood behavior justified my parents' sin. IT IS WRITTEN that God loved me WHILE I was still a sinner. No child earns mistreatment. The prodigal was rebellious and the father ran to him anyway. IT IS WRITTEN there is no condemnation for those in Christ. John Mark failed Paul and was later called 'useful'—my value isn't based on childhood compliance. The BARAK blessing flows to Abraham who lied, Jacob who deceived, Judah who sinned—covenant love, not earned love. I receive the Father's love RIGHT NOW as I am, was, and will be.
The Father doesn't run toward perfect children—He runs toward pig-pen-reeking rebels. You were never too much or too difficult for His love, and every lie that says you earned rejection is demolished by the cross where He died for you at your worst.