"Healing might be God's will generally, but not specifically for me right now."
How it sounds in your head: I believe God CAN heal, and I've even seen Him heal others. But maybe it's not His timing for me. Maybe He has other plans. Maybe my healing would somehow mess up His bigger picture. I don't want to be presumptuous or demand something that's not His will for my specific situation.
"And behold, a leper came and worshiped Him, saying, 'Lord, if You are willing, You can make me clean.' Then Jesus put out His hand and touched him, saying, 'I am willing; be cleansed.' Immediately his leprosy was cleansed."
-- Matthew 8:2-3Enemy creating doubt about God's PERSONAL love and intention toward you specifically, making you feel like the exception to His goodness.
You've prayed and nothing changed yet, which feels like a 'no' or 'not now.' You've watched others get healed and wonder why not you. Religious teaching about 'God's mysterious timing' makes waiting sound spiritual. Your youth makes you feel less important than adult prayer requests.
A Roman centurion (Gentile, enemy occupier, not even part of Israel's covenant) came to Jesus about his paralyzed servant suffering terribly. Jesus didn't say, 'Let me check my plan for your specific situation.' He immediately said, 'I WILL COME AND HEAL HIM.' When the centurion demonstrated faith, Jesus said, 'Go; let it be done JUST AS YOU BELIEVED.' That very HOUR the servant was healed. If Jesus was willing to heal an enemy soldier's servant INSTANTLY without hesitation, how much more YOU who are His beloved daughter?
I REFUSE the lie that healing is for others but maybe not for me. IT IS WRITTEN: Jesus declared 'I AM WILLING' when asked about healing, present tense, always, for ALL who ask. IT IS WRITTEN: 'He Himself took my infirmities and bore my sicknesses'—if Jesus CARRIED it, I don't have to. I am not the exception to God's goodness; I am His BELOVED daughter, blessed with the Abrahamic blessing of LIFE and HEALTH. Christ redeemed me from EVERY curse, which means sickness has NO LEGAL RIGHT to my body. I am the righteousness of God in Christ, and healing is part of my INHERITANCE. I RECEIVE it NOW, not someday, because IT IS FINISHED.
Your Father isn't making you wait for some mysterious perfect timing—He's been ready since the cross, holding out your healing like the father held out the robe, ready the MOMENT the prodigal appeared on the road. He's not willing for others but undecided about you. His 'I AM WILLING' is personal, present, and FOR YOU specifically, right now.