"Good Christian women don't struggle with anger and bitterness at this age"
How it sounds in your head: I should be sweet and peaceful by now, full of gentle wisdom. Instead I feel angry about how my life turned out, bitter about what was taken from me. Good godly women don't feel this way.
"I cry out to the LORD with my voice; with my voice to the LORD I make my supplication. I pour out my complaint before Him; I declare before Him my trouble."
-- Psalm 142:1-2Cultural expectation that elderly women must be docile and sweet + religious suppression of honest emotion as 'unspiritual.'
Decades of being told to smile, submit, and suppress have created an internal narrative that anger equals spiritual failure, especially for women. At 90+, she feels she should have 'arrived' at perfect peace.
She lost her husband and both sons, left destitute and bitter. She told people, 'Don't call me Naomi (pleasant); call me Mara (bitter), for the Almighty has dealt VERY bitterly with me.' She openly blamed God for her pain - and God gave her back EVERYTHING through Ruth and made her the great-grandmother of King David.
I REFUSE the lie that godly women must suppress anger and bitterness! IT IS WRITTEN that David poured out complaints and declared his trouble to God - honest emotion is NOT sin. I bring my anger and bitterness TO the Father, not as failure but as trust that He can handle my truth. IT IS WRITTEN that the Psalms are full of lament and rage, and they're called Scripture. I am not less spiritual for feeling deeply - I am HUMAN and HONEST. God is not scandalized by my pain; He's MOVED by it. I am fully loved in my anger and my peace!
The Father isn't waiting for you to get sweet and compliant - He's inviting you to rage and weep in His arms like the beloved daughter you are. He doesn't need your mask; He wants your HEART, messy and real.