"God's will for marriage is suffering and endurance, not joy."
How it sounds in your head: You've been taught that marriage is about dying to yourself, carrying your cross, enduring hardship. Joy is for Heaven. Here, it's duty. Suffering builds character. Maybe you're just supposed to tough it out for the kids, for the Kingdom, for obedience. Romance and happiness are worldly expectations. This is your cross to bear.
"The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly."
-- John 10:10Religious lie that God designed marriage as punishment rather than covenant blessing, that suffering is more spiritual than joy.
Every sermon you've heard about marriage talks about sacrifice, submission, dying to self. Happy marriages are never mentioned—only enduring ones. Your church culture celebrates 'staying together' but never 'thriving together.' It seems more spiritual to suffer than to enjoy. Joy feels selfish.
The King looked out the window and saw Isaac 'showing endearment' to Rebekah—the Hebrew word means laughing, playing, caressing. They were ENJOYING each other so much it was visible from a distance. This is in Scripture—God put JOY and PLAY and ROMANCE in the Bible as part of covenant marriage, not just duty and endurance.
I REFUSE the lie that God designed marriage to be miserable endurance. IT IS WRITTEN that Jesus came to give me ABUNDANT LIFE, and that includes abundant JOY in my marriage. God is not a cosmic killjoy—He's the Father who invented laughter, pleasure, intimacy, and delight. IT IS WRITTEN that in His presence is fullness of JOY, and He lives IN ME, which means joy is available NOW, in my home, in my bed, in my covenant. The BARAK blessing means I am blessed in EVERYTHING—including my marriage relationship. I am not called to white-knuckle survival; I am called to overflow with the joy of the Lord. Isaac and Rebekah played and laughed together, and it's in the BIBLE. Joy is not worldly—it's Kingdom. My marriage is designed for ABUNDANCE, not just endurance. I receive Heaven's joy, Heaven's romance, Heaven's delight—NOW.
The Father isn't watching your suffering with approval, thinking 'good, they're being spiritual'—He's heartbroken that religion stole your joy and called it holiness. He's running toward you with the wine of Heaven's gladness, ready to turn your water-endurance into wine-celebration, right now, because that's what He does at weddings.