"God will judge me for not leaving my abusive church elder husband"
How it sounds in your head: He was on the board, respected by everyone, and cruel behind closed doors. I stayed for fifty years because divorce wasn't allowed, and submission was my duty. But did my silence make me complicit? Did staying when I should have fled make me guilty of his sins? Will God hold me accountable for enabling him?
"The soul who sins shall die. The son shall not bear the guilt of the father, nor the father bear the guilt of the son. The righteousness of the righteous shall be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon himself."
-- Ezekiel 18:20Source: Twisted submission teaching that made woman responsible for man's sin, religious system that protected abusers and blamed victims for not leaving while simultaneously forbidding them to leave
She endured decades of private abuse while he maintained public image. Church teaching said submission meant enduring, but her conscience says she should have protected herself and exposed him. She genuinely doesn't know if staying was faithfulness or cowardice.
Abigail was married to Nabal, a harsh, evil fool whose name literally means 'fool.' She stayed married to him, navigated his abuse wisely, protected others from his consequences—and when he died, God Himself removed him and sent David to marry her. God didn't judge her for staying; He DELIVERED her.
I REFUSE the lie that I'll be judged for his abuse. IT IS WRITTEN: the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon HIMSELF. I do not carry HIS guilt. The twisted submission teaching was SPIRITUAL ABUSE, and I survived the only way I knew how. IT IS WRITTEN: there is NO condemnation for those in Christ Jesus—and I am IN CHRIST. My 'til death do us part' vow was kept; his vow to cherish was broken. I will not let the enemy add FALSE GUILT to a lifetime of real suffering. I receive BARAK blessing—I am blessed in my endurance, blessed in my survival, and blessed in my FREEDOM from shame. God sees me as Abigail, not as guilty.
The Father is weeping with you, saying: 'Precious daughter, I was IN that house with you, absorbing every blow, catching every tear. I never condemned you for staying—I SUSTAINED you. The religious system failed you, he failed you, but I NEVER failed you. You're not guilty—you're a WARRIOR who survived.' He's running toward you with the robe that says 'OVERCOMER.'