"God is punishing me with silence because of what I did in my younger years."
How it sounds in your head: You walked away from the faith for 20 years. You made terrible choices in business, in marriage, in parenting. Now you're old and coming back, but God's silence is His way of making you pay for those lost decades.
"So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the crawling locust, the consuming locust, and the chewing locust, My great army which I sent among you."
-- Joel 2:25Religion's transactional view of relationship, where God gives you the silent treatment as punishment rather than running to you like the Father of the prodigal.
When you catalog the years you ignored God against the years you've sought Him, there's a deficit—and unanswered prayer feels like the bill coming due.
Demanded inheritance, blew it ALL on prostitutes and reckless living, ended up in a pig pen. The Father SAW him coming, RAN to him (undignified for Middle Eastern fathers), embraced him while he still smelled like pigs, didn't let him finish his apology, restored full sonship—ring, robe, sandals, party. Zero punishment. Immediate restoration.
I REFUSE the lie that God punishes me with silence for my wasted years. IT IS WRITTEN: He restores the years the locust has eaten—He doesn't bill me for them. The prodigal got a party, not probation. I am the righteousness of God in Christ, not by my history. IT IS WRITTEN: there is NO condemnation for me in Christ Jesus. My Father isn't giving me the silent treatment; He's running toward me with the robe and ring. My wandering is covered by blood. I receive FULL restoration NOW, not after I've earned it back.
Your Father didn't start the timer on relationship when you came back—He's been running toward you the whole time, and the moment you turned His direction, you got full sonship, not probationary status. The party is NOW, not after you prove yourself.