"God blessed my parents with dysfunction—He'll do the same to me."
How it sounds in your head: You've heard the sermons: 'God doesn't give you more than you can handle.' 'He's building character through trials.' You look at your parents' toxic marriage and abusive patterns and think, 'If God allowed THAT, what's He planning for me?' You're terrified of a God who uses suffering as a teaching tool.
"The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly."
-- John 10:10Source: Religion twists Scripture to make God the AUTHOR of suffering instead of the ENEMY, causing you to fear the One who's actually running toward you with a robe.
Well-meaning Christians have told you your whole life that God 'allows' hard things for your growth. If He allowed your dad's rage or your mom's depression, it feels like trusting Him is just signing up for more pain with a Bible verse attached.
Everyone uses Job as proof that God authors suffering. But read the END: God RESTORED everything the enemy stole—DOUBLE. Job's latter days were more blessed than his beginning. God didn't bless Job WITH loss. He RESTORED him FROM loss. The suffering was SATAN'S doing (Job 1:12). The BLESSING was GOD'S response.
I REFUSE the lie that God authors dysfunction to teach me. IT IS WRITTEN that the THIEF comes to steal, kill, and destroy, but JESUS came to give ABUNDANT LIFE. My parents' suffering was NOT God's will—it was the enemy's work, and Jesus came to DEMOLISH it. IT IS WRITTEN that every good and perfect gift comes from the Father of lights, in whom there is NO variation or shadow of turning. He doesn't give dysfunction one generation and blessing the next. He ONLY gives good. I am not expecting suffering—I'm expecting the BLESSING OF ABRAHAM, which protected and prospered even liars and deceivers. God is not planning pain for me. He's running toward me with a ROBE.
The Father is not looking at your future and plotting character-building trauma. He's looking at you with the same eyes He had for the prodigal—full of compassion, running with a robe, already planning the party. He's not the author of your family's pain. He's the Healer of it. And He's not done healing yet.