"Depression at my age means I've failed spiritually after all these years of faith."
How it sounds in your head: You've been a Christian for decades. You raised your kids in church, served on boards, led Bible studies. If your faith was real, you wouldn't be feeling this darkness now. All those years were a waste if you can't even keep yourself together.
"Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him for the help of His countenance."
-- Psalm 42:5Religion's lie that spiritual maturity equals emotional immunity, denying the reality of broken bodies in a fallen world.
After 50+ years of walking with God, he expected to have 'arrived' at unshakeable joy. The darkness feels like proof that everything he built his life on was insufficient.
Right after his greatest victory over 450 prophets of Baal, Elijah fell into suicidal depression, asking God to take his life. God didn't rebuke him for lack of faith - He sent an angel with food and let him sleep, then spoke gently.
I REFUSE the lie that depression disqualifies my decades of faith. IT IS WRITTEN that even David was cast down in soul, yet remained God's beloved. My brain chemistry does not determine my righteousness - Christ's blood does. I am Abraham's seed, heir according to PROMISE, and the BARAK blessing covers my mental health. IT IS WRITTEN there is NO condemnation for those in Christ. I am the Father's delight whether my serotonin cooperates or not. My worth was settled at the cross, not in my emotional stability.
The Father sees you exactly as He saw Elijah - His mighty prophet in need of rest and food, not rebuke. He's not waiting for you to 'get it together' - He's already running toward you with the ring, the robe, and the celebration, depression and all.