"At my age, my addiction testimony is all I have left to offer God."
How it sounds in your head: I'm ninety years old, and when I think about my value to God, it's my story - my addiction testimony. That's what people want to hear, that's what makes me useful in recovery circles, that's my contribution. Without that story of addiction and recovery, I don't know what I'd have to offer. My identity and usefulness are wrapped up in being the testimony lady.
"They shall still bear fruit in old age; they shall be fresh and flourishing."
-- Psalm 92:14The enemy tricks believers into making their PAST struggle their present value instead of recognizing their CURRENT identity as God's beloved is their true offering.
For decades, her addiction testimony opened doors, gave her purpose, and made her feel useful. At ninety, she fears that without that dramatic story, she has nothing valuable to contribute to God's kingdom.
She was eighty-four years old, widowed for decades, had no dramatic testimony of sin and rescue to share. Her offering was simply being PRESENT in the temple, fasting and praying, and when Jesus came, she was honored to be one of the first to recognize Him - her VALUE was her CURRENT faithfulness, not past drama!
I REFUSE the lie that my testimony of past addiction is all I have to offer! IT IS WRITTEN that I shall still bear FRUIT in old age - PRESENT fruit, not just past stories! My value to God is not my dramatic PAST but my beloved IDENTITY! I am a daughter whose LIFE at ninety declares God's faithfulness, whose PRESENCE is worship, whose very EXISTENCE testifies that God KEEPS what He claims! IT IS WRITTEN that I am His workmanship created for good works - not past works, PRESENT works! The BARAK blessing isn't 'you were blessed' but 'you ARE blessed' - present tense, current reality, ongoing fruitfulness! I am FRESH and FLOURISHING at ninety because God's mercies are NEW EVERY MORNING, including this morning!
Sweet daughter, the Father doesn't value you because of your dramatic testimony. He values you because you're His DAUGHTER. Your offering isn't your story of what you came out of; it's your PRESENCE as who you are NOW - His beloved, and that's the most valuable offering of all.