"My past sexual sin is why we can't conceive now."
How it sounds in your head: You can't stop thinking about the hookups in college, the pornography addiction, the girl you got pregnant and pressured into an abortion. Now when you want to build a family the right way, God is making you pay. This is karma. This is justice. You deserve this.
"I, even I, am he that blotteth out thy transgressions for mine own sake, and will not remember thy sins."
-- Isaiah 43:25Religious condemnation that makes conception a reward for purity and infertility punishment for past sin.
The timeline fits too perfectly - years of sexual sin, now years of infertility. The guilt is crushing and you secretly believe this is God's payback. You haven't told your wife about the abortion and the secret eats you alive.
David committed adultery with Bathsheba and murdered her husband Uriah - yet after the consequences played out, God gave them Solomon who became the wisest king and built the temple. God's blessing continued despite horrific sin.
I REFUSE the lie that my sexual past disqualifies my future family. IT IS WRITTEN that God blots out my transgressions and will not remember my sins - if He doesn't remember them, why am I letting the enemy remind me? The blood of Jesus cleansed me from ALL unrighteousness, not some. IT IS WRITTEN that there is NO condemnation for those in Christ. David committed adultery and murder yet God gave him Solomon. My past is under the blood. I am redeemed from the curse, including barrenness. IT IS WRITTEN that I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus - not because I was pure but because He is pure. My fertility is based on covenant, not my history.
Your Father isn't punishing you for college hookups - He's the one who threw a party for the prodigal who blew everything on prostitutes. He didn't make him earn his way back to sonship. He ran toward him, gave him the ring of authority BEFORE he cleaned up, and celebrated his return. Your sexual past was washed in the blood the moment you believed. He's not withholding children - He's preparing your testimony.