"I'm being punished with sleeplessness for past mistakes."
How it sounds in your head: You weren't the perfect husband. You missed things with your kids because of work. You had that affair forty years ago. Maybe this torment is payback—God making you lose sleep over the sleep you cost others.
"having wiped out the handwriting of requirements that was against us, which was contrary to us. And He has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross."
-- Colossians 2:14Religion: Presents God as cosmic accountant balancing the books through suffering, denying finished work of cross.
His past has real failures, documented mistakes. The timing of his insomnia and his guilt seem connected—a divine spanking that won't stop.
Manasseh sacrificed his own children to demons, filled Jerusalem with innocent blood, led Israel into maximum evil. When he finally cried out to God from captivity, God IMMEDIATELY heard, brought him back to Jerusalem, restored his kingdom. Worst king, instant restoration.
I REFUSE the lie that past failures disqualify present blessing. IT IS WRITTEN: God 'wiped out the handwriting of requirements that was against us, having nailed it to the cross.' My slate is CLEAN, not dirty. I am the righteousness of God in Christ—not because I performed, but because Jesus performed. The BARAK protected Jacob the DECEIVER, Judah the ADULTERER, David the MURDERER—all covenant, zero performance. IT IS WRITTEN: 'There is therefore now NO condemnation to those in Christ Jesus' (Romans 8:1). God isn't punishing me—He's blessing me as Abraham's seed. I receive rest NOW, guilt-free, condemnation-free, fully righteous.
While you're rehearsing your failures, the Father is rehearsing Jesus' victory over them. He's not keeping score—He threw the scorecard in the grave when Jesus rose. You're welcomed as the prodigal with a robe, not a rap sheet.